Things your pet doesn't tell you:
- Cat (while scratching the couch): Oh if you are wondering about the smell behind the couch I left a present there for you, you always hide eggs at Easter. I'm disappointed you haven't found it yet...
- Dog (getting ears pulled by child): Aaaaaand she's at it again, first the airplane, then helicopter...
- Fish (singing on top of its lungs): Lalalalalaaaaa defyyyying graaaavity - oi why did you turn it off??
- Rabbit: Fucking carrots again, Fluffy broke up with me last night, I need chocolate and wine not vegetables....
- Hamster (running its wheel): Have you ever had a look at yourself? If my running would slim you down too you'd look soooo amazing but I don't seem to inspire you at all....
- Spider: What did you get there? A venus fly trap? Am I not good enough for you anymore??
- Fox (staring at the TV through the window): She better be voting for that foxhunting ban that was on the news the other night...
Other animals I could use: horse, pig, bat?
No comments:
Post a Comment